First time leaving the nest? Just got brutally dumped? Lying awake at night wallowing in a crippling sense of loneliness and failure? The answer to all your suffering is here!
Lose yourself in the soft texture of the one heart that will remain forever yours and never stray. Let the rhythmic pulse wipe away your tears and soothe away painful memories. Take comfort in the softly blinking LED light that lets you know: no matter how rough the outside world gets, there is a safe haven waiting for you in your bed. Now don't you want to take a handful of Xanax and live the rest of your life in the cockles of your beating heart pillow? Especially when it comes in two different sizes and colors to fit any decor?
Why seek love when you can buy yourself an electronic, unconditionally-yours, beating heart? Don't forget to stock up on batteries!
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