Portable DVD Boom Box

So, you’re hanging at the boardwalk with a couple friends - listening to music and doing drugs, or whatever the kids are into nowadays - when all of the sudden everyone’s iPods stop working. Not everyone in the whole world (that would be weird), just yours and your friends’ iPods. You all stare blankly at each other, partially from shock, partially from the large quantities of drugs coursing through your systems. Finally, Billy suggests, “I guess we can just listen to [insert your name here]’s back up boom box”. Ashamedly, you look at the ground and sadly tell your friends, “But I don’t own a boom box”. Disgusted with your lack of preparation for a fun day out, your friends just get up and walk away. Billy spits on you, then calls the cops, which lands you in jail because no one took their drugs with them when they left. Now you’re in jail and you still don’t have a boom box.

That sucked, didn’t it? Alright, now let’s reimagine that situation. Your friends are hanging at the boardwalk (no drugs this time - they’re bad for you), when all of their iPods stop working. They look at each other stupidly (seriously, you should consider getting new friends). Suddenly, out of nowhere, a helicopter appears above the boardwalk. You do a flip from the helicopter landing rail and parachute down to your friends while wearing roller skates. They are stunned as you land in front of them carrying a Portable DVD Boom Box. “Out of tunes?” you smoothly ask. You all laugh at your hilarious quip and everyone congratulates you on thinking ahead. But Billy looks troubled. You say, “Why do you look so troubled, Billy?” “I’ve got this DVD of [insert popular 80s television show here] that I wanted to watch, but we’re nowhere near a home entertainment system!” “Oh, Billy”, you scold him, “Can’t you see that I’m holding the answer to your problems right here in my strong yet supple hands?” Slowly he realizes that your Boom Box is also a DVD player. “Hey, that’s a DVD player too! My problems are solved!” Once again, you’re a hero to all your friends. As everyone laughs in anticipation of the great day you will all have and at Billy’s simple mind, a great white shark jumps out of the water, headed straight for your group! You punch the shark right square in its face, and it falls to the ground dead. “Not today, shark”, you cleverly retort. Your one liners are especially spot on today. The mayor shows up and gives you a medal of honor for “sharkpunching and general awesomeness”. Alright, which situation was better?

I think you know what you need to do.