We all know that books belong on a bookshelf. But where do you store your more valued paper possessions? Your countless tomes? Your enlightened manuscripts? Your priceless compendiums? That thing you wrote back in Junior year that was going to change the world? Surely a bookshelf is no place for these treasures. No indeed. Only pulpy, mainstream publications belong on something so base as a bookshelf. The cream of your intellectual crop belongs in a cabinet that befits a king. King Tut, to be exact. Spice up your home décor with a Life Sized King Tut Cabinet. Protect your valuables with your very own secret Pharaoh’s tomb. Books and more can be kept for eternity in this spacious sarcophagus. Additional benefits of keeping your collection secret and safe from intruders. When closed, it looks just like an authentic sarcophagus!! Those cat burglars will walk right by your precious library without giving it a second glance. And on the off chance that the burglar is not fooled by the cabinet’s meticulously hand-painted gold and jewel toned exterior, make sure to booby trap the inside. Just like a real Egyptian! Imagine how confused those thieves will be when they open the decoy sarcophagus and get a quiver of poisonous spikes to the chest instead of your prized book collection. Those Egyptians knew how to party. Great for the holidays! And all the days! Goes well in any room, and particularly, a rumpus room! Efficient and easy on the eyes. A great way to tie together all your vaguely foreign décor and wall hangings. Fits up to four canopic jars.
Also available, the King Tut CD-Rom Cabinet to complete your Egyptain motif. Guarantee that your extensive collection of Wham!’s greatest hits makes the journey into the next life with you. Standing at 27 inches tall, this mini-mummy is at perfect knee-smacking level. Fits up to 56 CDs (Compact Discs) or floppy dics, if you prefer. Probably only fits like 25-30 8-track tapes, though. And forget about laser dics, you’ll need the life-sized cabinet for those.
Because nothing says classy so much as a replica of a dead guy’s coffin.
